The night before...

Twas the night before black belt, A fantastic'ly big test,
Not a creature was stirring, I had put them to rest.
The belts were hung, on my bedpost with care,
I was running my fingers, through my black dyed hair.
The ground would be wet, and mud all around,
But I'd have to perform, without making a sound.
So I gathered my equipment, and threw it with my stuff,
The day tomorrow, was going to be rough.
I hoped I could pass, I trained hard until now,
The only worry I had, was, simply put, how?
I rubbed my face, thinking how'd it all end,
When suddenly an idea, came from around the bend.
I'll give it all I've got, no reason to ask why,
Because if I didn't, I knew I would die.
Even if I died, at least I would know,
I died trying my best, and I wouldn't fall below.
So I went to the loo, and put on my head on my shoulders,
I put my smile on too, the one that would crack boulders.
I looked in the mirror, and what did I see?
A black belt with black hair, smiling back at me.

Bouncing

Bouncy...

Boobs do not bounce like that. What are they thinking? If it wasn't for Ninja Gaiden, I'd boycott Team Ninja forever.

Seriously, everyone knows I love the female body: Eyes, Smile, Boobs, Butt, Legs, Stomach, Back. I love women. But god damn I don't love those women. I couldn't even watch the whole damn trailer. Team Ninja really needs to take that game back to development and change the breast physics, which I _know_ they've put an entire team on. Tell you what, take the team that is working on breast physics, and have them work on hair. Make it look more realistic, and make it actually move according to thier bodies. Stop working on the breasts, they've been over...milked?

How to Be a Good Liberal

You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.

You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese and North Korean Communists.

You have to believe that there was no art before federal funding.

You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV's.

You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.

You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.

You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.

You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert E. Lee, Thomas Edison, and Alexander Graham Bell.

You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.

You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and is a very nice person.

You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.

You have to believe that conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and a sex offender belonged in the White House.

You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the Chinese government is somehow in the best interest to the United States.

You have to believe that it's okay to give federal workers Christmas Day off but it's not okay to say "Merry Christmas."

You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast right wing conspiracy.